The Modern Mama

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Hide & Go Seek January 30, 2011

Filed under: Family,Friends,Moms,stay at home moms — bethanyjcrocker @ 12:46 am
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I apologize for my long absents from blogging, the last few months have been crazy in our household {many blogs will come from it in due time}. But for now there is a topic that is so current it was perfect to kick start my blogging frenzy again!

Hide and Go Seek!

Its a classic game that all children love to play no matter what the age and parents love to play with their children until… it’s your stuff they’re hiding and you are seeking it in a panic! Apparently my daughter has taken up a new version of the game.

I have a list of wonderful examples 🙂

Hidden: My actual wallet and keys {as we are getting ready to walk out the door of course}
Gone Seeking & Found: ooh I found it in my daughters Vera Bradley play purse shoved in a corner behind a door.

Hidden: Camera lens cover
Gone Seeking & Found: Inside a pair of my youngest daughters boots…

Hidden: Plastic cookie cutters
Gone Seeking & Found: Inside the toaster oven

Hidden: THE PACI!!!
Gone Seeking & Found: Inside the pots and pans cupboard inside one of the pans.

Hidden: Individually wrapped cough drops
Gone Seeking & Found:  Shoved inside a container of Vaseline. {this was really gross}

I have plenty more examples of my daughters version of hide and go seek it would keep you entertained for hours. Thankfully we can laugh about our “lost” items and so far it hasn’t been anything we’ve lost sleep over!

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Oh be careful little ears what hear… November 12, 2010

Filed under: Books,My mini me's,stay at home moms — bethanyjcrocker @ 4:50 am
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Do you hear what I hear?!

So it turns out that I have a little mocking bird living in my house… her name is Kelsey. It is fascinating to me that this little child who is only 2 speaks with such clear diction sometime. And picks up words and actions so quickly. Example last night I kept dropping things out of my hand and said “oh my gosh, what the heck!” and what do I hear as Kelsey picks whatever it was up off the floor for me and hands it to me “oh my gosh mama!!” of course in her cute little gremlin voice 🙂

This afternoon our family was in the car traveling for 3 hours for sure I thought that was enough time for Kelsey to get in a great nap… NOPE! The chatty Kathy was giggling, singing, talking and scolding  Josh and I from the back seat for a solid 3 hours!! I called my mom and apologized for all the talking I did as a child. I am sure Kelsey is her payback 🙂 As I was driving and listening to her blabber off all these cute songs we sing and games we play I was so thankful for the wholesomeness that was coming out of her mouth. My husband will tell you his mom always said {like most moms} “garbage in, garbage out!” So true. I know that when children get to that chatty age they definitely make you think twice about some of things you say… or want to say.

I encourage you to turn off the unwholesome music, trashy books, and gossip and really pay attention to what you fill your ears and time with. It effects not only you but those little ears that follow you around all day too, lets protect those little ears and teach them productive things instead.

 

Pro’s of being a stay at home Mama October 5, 2010

My fun family at the beach!

I recently saw this quote

A friend had posted this on facebook and I thought it was so perfect for this post

“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only, to support the ultimate career” – C S Lewis

For all stay at home mamas this better put a smile on your face, its a little pat on the back for all the hard work you do that seems to go unnoticed.

As a stay at home mama you are irreplaceable to your child{ren}

There is nothing better than the personal investment into your own child that will someday outlive you! You are the number one example for them as you live your life in front of them day by day.  It is wonderful to be able to teach your children what you want them to learn and at the rate you know they can learn it.

Now depending on how much money your income brings in most of the time it saves a family money to stay at home and raise the children instead of paying for a daycare or a nanny. Also paying for the commute to work, work clothes etc. If after paying for a daycare, commute and work clothes you are still bringing in a worth while income it comes down to priority. What are your priorities? Did you bring children into the world to have other people raise them for you? Although sometimes that sounds nice but that’s not how parenting and raising children was intended.

When there is a parent home to take care of the family and home the stress level in the house is reduced {there are always ‘those’ days though}. I know from a little bit of experience. After delivering Kelsey I took my six weeks off then returned back to my part-time job as the Deputy Town Clerk in our town to finish out the 2008 year {it was roughly 6 weeks I went back to work for}. Now our town hall is… we live next door so my commute was literally 5 seconds away. Even with that short of a commute it was still stressful to get out of the house on time, have Kelsey ready for an entire day away from home and hoping she had enough milk to last the day {for my fellow breastfeeding mamas that can be a challenge in and of itself}. Then having to pump while at work and hoping you are on the same feeding schedule as your baby. Not to mention having an idea of what dinner will be when you get home and keeping the house clean all on a few hours sleep… no thanks! That was seriously the most stressful and exhausting 6 weeks of my life!!

I am not saying that being a stay at home mama will solve all these issues immediately

And that they will never occur again because that’s just not realistic. But a flexible schedule makes things much easier for you, your child and the overall atmosphere of your home. Did you have a rough night with the baby? If you have a job to go to in the morning that baby needs to be up and ready to go by 7am no matter how much rest they got. {that sucks for you and your baby!}

What mom doesn’t want to witness all the firsts in their child’s life? Staying at home with your kids is more than just witnessing these milestones its about growing your children into the adults you want them to become. Building their character and preparing them for life. It would be great if you as the parent were the one to do that since you brought them into the world. The first few years of life are so crucial it is  important to have consistent and strong relationship with them.. Josh and I discussed the topic of to stay home or not to stay home before we ever had children. There really wasn’t much of a discussion the decision was that simple to make. We want to be the ones to raise our children not some random employee at a daycare that may not even be there in 3 weeks.

It makes me sad when I hear working moms say I’d never be a stay at home mom, my kids would drive me nuts and all stay at home moms do is spend their husbands money, never contributing to it. I know a women who has said that before! The jokes on her because she is missing out on a lot with her kids because of that attitude.

By the time she gets home at 5 or 6pm her kids are exhausted and cranky. The best part of their day was spent with someone else. As far as kids driving her nuts, yeah it happens but tomorrow is a new day and what better opportunity to grow as a loving parent. Kelsey gave Josh and I one of those opportunities today, she is great at it! And as far as spending all her husbands money… not always. Maybe the women she knows do that but most of the stay at home mamas I know are the most frugal people around! I guess its all about priority.

Here are a few wonderful milestones & memories I may have missed out on if I went to a job everyday.

* Teaching my children how to sit up, crawl, walk, run and skip
* Giggling with them in their cribs before nap time {Yes I did say in  their cribs, they are quit sturdy!!}
* Teaching Kelsey how to feed and be a great mommy to her babies by watching how I am with Neely
* Afternoon picnics at the park with our friends on a Tuesday because we can
* Reading and singing with my girls for however long they want and then they’ll singing back to me and read me stories
* I get to hear them giggle at one another in their cribs when they should be napping {but their laughs are totally worth it!}
* Teach them the importance of chores around the house {Kelsey assists with dishes, making beds, and picking up toys}

I am the one that gets to teach them all of these fun things! I am not saying that staying at home with your children is the only way to go, I have many friends who work full-time and part-time some because that’s what they want and others because their family needs that extra money. BUT if you have a choice in staying home with your kids or working what is your priority?

 

Does this EVER get easier?! September 3, 2010

Filed under: Moms,My mini me's — bethanyjcrocker @ 5:43 pm
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Pregnant women don’t realize just how good they have it!

Pregnant women don’t have to change diapers. They don’t have to deal with a hungry screaming baby; carrying heavy gear in and out of stores {just that heavy belly!} the list could go on. I personally think that’s the easiest having a child will be. You always know where they are and who’s taking care of them. It’s great!

However they eventually come out and they become little people of their own. As they grown and develop so do their motor skills, vocabulary, ahh yes and we must not forget their will power! Oh the will of a toddler 🙂 To be very honest and transparent with you the last 2-3 days have been… brain rattling for me! Between a strong willed 23 month old and a teething 8 month old it can be very frustrating to say the least.

I can’t take it anymore!

As I was about to break down in tears while pulling my hair out and sweating profusely I thought to myself does this ever get easier? It has to right?! Eventually they won’t need me to change their diapers or accidents in their Elmo undies? They’ll get all their teeth someday and stop crying… okay screaming? How about this, will they ever pay attention when I call their name? Oh man so many questions. People survive raising kids don’t they?! On that particular day it wasn’t looking good for me.

As I announced to Josh that we were giving the girls up for adoption he kindly reminded me how blessed I am to be the one to raise these girls and go through all of this with them instead of shipping them off to some teenybopper at a daycare that doesn’t know what she’s doing {which I am positive some days it would be easier to do that!}. So I stopped in the middle of my pity party and took a few deep breaths then really thought about what I was so worked up over… oh my gosh its not that bad in the grand scheme of things. Everything would have been better if I had just fixed my attitude from the start. I think thats where the root of most issues are, your attitude.

Happy Wife, Happy Life

You know the saying a happy wife, happy life. Boy is that true! Everyone would of been much happier if I were able to keep a attitude positive and be the encouraging mama/wife I am suppose to be instead of letting minute things pester me. So what if Neely does lung exercises for a few minutes while I finish taking care of Kelsey everyone will survive! Instead I should use those times to teach my kids what patients looks like, and the proper response to a sticky situation. Things will get easier so I am told and when we look back it won’t ever seem as bad as it was while we were going through it. Yeah there are going to be times when one child is screaming and the other is tugging at my shirt trying to get my attention while a buzzer is going off. OH WELL! Its times like that that make us SUPER MOM 🙂 For now I might as well enjoy the chaos and do my best to bring everyone out alive and happy!

 

What sparked my passion August 26, 2010

Filed under: Books,Bradley Method,Friends,Moms — bethanyjcrocker @ 8:57 pm
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January 25, 2008 the double line arrived!

Josh and I are expecting our first child. A task I wasn’t really looking forward to but knew it was inevitable {delivering a baby}. Because I really knew nothing about being pregnant or delivering a child and Josh wasn’t much help on the topic we decided to take a highly recommended birthing class. The Bradley Method.

Boy are we thankful that we took those classes!!

The education we received in that 12 week course was phenomenal. Those classes better prepared us for the entire experience of having a baby. We were confident in the decisions we were making because of the information we were getting. Josh was excited about the delivery and was extremely helpful post delivery because he knew what to expect. Not to mention it was great having a specific day every week for 12 weeks set aside to specifically talk about and prepare for our future with our new baby.

The entire experience of preparing for a baby and actually delivering a baby was so text-book perfect and enjoyable I wanted in some way to be able to share that with others so they could have the same positive experience I did. That is what sparked my birthing passion!

After our Bradley classes

I started taking my nutrition more seriously especially now that it didn’t only effect me. How could I insist on my kid eating a healthy pb&j with carrots and hummus while I eat a bag of skittles for lunch, not happening!! So I started researching information about everything… vaccinations, nutrition, alternative formulas, and toys.  I never thought twice about these things before because it didn’t really affect me.
Well when you are responsible for raising a little human that eventually grows into an adult and repeats the cycle you kind of want to make sure you do a good job. You need to make sure you are nurturing your child in every way {physically, mentally, and spiritually} so that’s what I did.

I was given a book by my Pastor called Growing Up God’s Way by John A. Stormer. Wow! What a great book. If reading this book does not light a fire under your butt I am not sure what will. Reading about the important influence a parent has on a child’s life and also how crucial the first 3 years of life are was enough to spark my passion in being the best mama possible to the children I am blessed with. Trust me I have my bad days as a mom in fact just the other day I was ready to set both kiddos on the front step with a FREE sign! But this too shall pass, I remind myself very often of that 🙂 I really don’t care if it is always the popular thing to do as long as it’s the right thing I will keep plugging away at raising my children the Godly way! This book is what sparked my passion and method of raising my children the way I do!

Leave a comment and tell me what are you passionate about and why!