The Modern Mama

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Whatcha doing mama? November 10, 2011

Filed under: Moms,My mini me's,Uncategorized — bethanyjcrocker @ 10:59 pm
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I have an inquisitive 3 year old. The words that leave her mouth most often are ‘Whatcha doing mama’. This is always a great question because it helps to think… really what am I doing? Sometimes its the dish’s, laundry, cooking, cleaning, or I find myself wasting time. I never answer her with ‘nothing’ because well I am never just doing nothing. I think it is really important to answer your children with an educated and honest answer, obviously some answers are more educated than others but you catch my drift.

I am often pleasantly surprised with Kelsey’s answer when I ask her what she is doing.

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Birth Story #2 Happy Birthday Neely!! December 30, 2010

‘Twas a few day after Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even the baby who is 4 days late inside of me now!

Tuesday afternoon December 29, 2009 I went to a scheduled Dr. appointment to have a non stress test because my baby bump was not removing itself on time. As I sat there hooked up to the machines listening and feeling my little gremlin wiggle and move inside of me I watched the monitors telling me I was having consistent contractions ever 10 minutes. The nurse re-enter the room to tell me the same observation of the results “wow! you’re not feeling this? it says you are having contractions every 10 minutes on the dot.” “no, not really I just have a little back pain but its bearable.” I said to her. This poor nurse insisted on having the Dr. come talk to me one last time before leaving the office, as she thought I may want to think about heading to the hospital soon. {HA!} And just as every Dr. I had seen for the last 2 weeks told me “you should go into labor at any time now!” and I thought to myself riiiiiight! So I hopped off the table and headed home to pass the time playing with my crazy 15 month old.

Hours have gone by

and nothing was happening. Josh had come home from work and we had eaten dinner… nothing. My mom {who is pretty much my unofficial doula} decided she wanted to spend the night JUST incase anything were to happen. We put Kelsey to bed one last time hoping that when she woke in the morning she would be a big sister. And the three of us proceeded to watch hilarious Youtube videos while I tried to bounce this baby out of me by  gently bouncing and rocking on a yoga ball. I was so tired and knew I should get a good nights rest incase anything did go down the following day. So about 11:30 I hopped into bed with my 75 pillows between my legs and snoozed of delivering this baby.

3am

I’m up not only to pee for the 15th time but I’m having some serious rumbles in my tumbles. Real contractions had begun. You moms know the ones where you can’t sit still through them, and they are more than just a period cramp. I tried to stay in bed and just flip flop back and forth through them because I wasn’t ready to get up yet… not happening so I crept out to the living {where my mom was sleeping} to snatch the yoga ball and rock on that. Of course my mom spotted the staggering pregnant women attempting to be graceful at 3 am. I sat on the ball and talked to her for a few minutes and finally when another contraction struck she jumped off the sofa and whispered with glee “I’M GETTING READY!!!”.  I slowly got Josh up but wasn’t really in a rush. I continued laboring for hours and finally gave in to call our friend to come watch Kelsey for us and my Bradley girls to get their camera and video cams ready to go… We’re having a baby 🙂

7:30ish

We arrive at the hospital. On our way there Josh asked for my prediction of when the baby would be out by. Of course I was super optimistic and said he/she will be out by 8am! okay okay how about 10am I  agreed. When I got to the hospital I was only 6cm dilated, totally bummed and a little discouraged because I really felt I was farther than that. But that didn’t matter anymore now I was wrestling with the nurse between contractions that it wasn’t necessary for me to have an IV – I was very well hydrated!! I insisted that it wasn’t necessary, I had a baby a year ago with out one and was fine… come on people. After that ordeal I wobbled to our room {which happened to be the same room I delivered Kelsey in – so cool and motivating!} and began super-duper labor. This was way more intense than last stage labor with Kelsey. Thankful we had an excellent nurse who only did what we asked and after Josh explained very clearly to her that drugs were not an option we were good to go! My Bradley girls had arrived with cameras in hand and lots of positive energy I was all set. For the next almost 2 hours I labored off and on the yoga ball with the best birthing partner by my side helping me breath through every contraction {Joshy poo!} We can laugh about it now but while I was in the midst of several contractions back to back and I was forcefully throwing my entire body onto Josh as he knelt down in front of me massaging my back and coaching me he stands up at the end of a contraction to stretch out and says “man!, this is killing my knees.” I could feel the eyeballs rolling from the 3 moms behind me with a few snickers who have all had natural births and put their husbands through the same thing, it was so classic 🙂

I had hit that point where I was involuntarily pushing

I was so focused through all of my laboring I could hardly keep my eyes open. I had hit that final point and knew it was time to move so I could push. It was so uncomfortable moving at all but it had to be done, and still my water had not broken {this happened with Kelsey}. As I am getting on the bed I faintly hear the nurses say that the Dr. that was supposed to deliver {the same Dr. I saw the day before} had just gone into a surgery and was no longer available… here we go again I thought {I had some random Dr. with Kelsey also}. A few minutes went by which is like an eternity when you are in labor and the nurses are getting everything ready for delivery and all of a sudden a women comes running into the room. Have no fear it was a Dr. who ran from another building down the road because no one else was available to deliver. At this point I was so focused I hardly remember this but she introduced herself to me {I couldn’t tell you her name if my life depended on it} and congratulated Josh and I  then proceeded to ask me if we took hypnobirthing classes because I was so focused it was hard to believe there were no drugs involved and how rare it is to see a women labor so calmly and focused. I remember answering her “HA! no” and that was that 🙂 My water finally broke {on its own this time} and within minutes {3 pushes} we had another little GIRL 🙂
Neely Edyn was born 7lbs 9oz 21inches born at 10:02 am

Party of 4

A year later and Neely has grown so much and is sweeter than ever. Kelsey and Neely are like 2 peas in a pod, they are truly BFF’s and the Crocker clan couldn’t be happier 🙂

 

nearing 1 year of life December 8, 2010

Filed under: Moms,My mini me's,stay at home moms,Uncategorized — bethanyjcrocker @ 12:58 am
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The first year of life brings forth so many changes in just 12 short months

As I watch my little Neely playing while I write this she is 11 months old { December 30th she will turn 1} and she is pulling herself up on to toys and walking along them as she is turning off and on the toy switches laughing with the deepest belly laugh. Last December she was still cooking in my oven!!

I enjoy reflecting on the past year plus the 9 months of growing her inside of me. While I was black Friday shopping a few weeks ago I thought about last year. My mom and I went out shopping at 5am for the first time ever and there we are laughing in the store because people are going bonkers after the hottest toy… except they couldn’t make it past my belly in the isle to get to the toy! Then they would say “excuse me”  but it didn’t matter what way I turned because I was so perfectly round at that point they weren’t getting by me and you know its pointless to even try and suck that belly in, it’s not going anywhere! This year I saw a bunch of beautiful pregnant mamas shopping and chuckled to myself because thats exactly what I looked like last year,and it was fun.

Josh and I watched a few videos the other day of the girls right after Neely was born. Man, Neely was so tiny and scrunchy, then there was Kelsey as bald as a baseball dancing to Mily Cyrus – Party in the USA. What the past year has brought to my family… hair for Kelsey and a sweet little personality and ambition for Neely.

I love, love, love that Josh and I have witnessed all of Neely’s fun milestones in the last 11 months. She has gone from that scrunchy and squeaky newborn to rolling over, sitting up, crawling, pulling herself up on things, walking along furniture and people and soon walking completely on her own. We started out with newborn diapers, baths in the sink, breastfeeding and swaddling and now have size 3 diapers, bath time with her big sister playing and splashing each other and mama, table food and crawling with her blanket in tow! These months have gone by so quickly but you know what they say…

TIME FLIES WHEN YOU’RE HAVING FUN 🙂

 

Oh be careful little ears what hear… November 12, 2010

Filed under: Books,My mini me's,stay at home moms — bethanyjcrocker @ 4:50 am
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Do you hear what I hear?!

So it turns out that I have a little mocking bird living in my house… her name is Kelsey. It is fascinating to me that this little child who is only 2 speaks with such clear diction sometime. And picks up words and actions so quickly. Example last night I kept dropping things out of my hand and said “oh my gosh, what the heck!” and what do I hear as Kelsey picks whatever it was up off the floor for me and hands it to me “oh my gosh mama!!” of course in her cute little gremlin voice 🙂

This afternoon our family was in the car traveling for 3 hours for sure I thought that was enough time for Kelsey to get in a great nap… NOPE! The chatty Kathy was giggling, singing, talking and scolding  Josh and I from the back seat for a solid 3 hours!! I called my mom and apologized for all the talking I did as a child. I am sure Kelsey is her payback 🙂 As I was driving and listening to her blabber off all these cute songs we sing and games we play I was so thankful for the wholesomeness that was coming out of her mouth. My husband will tell you his mom always said {like most moms} “garbage in, garbage out!” So true. I know that when children get to that chatty age they definitely make you think twice about some of things you say… or want to say.

I encourage you to turn off the unwholesome music, trashy books, and gossip and really pay attention to what you fill your ears and time with. It effects not only you but those little ears that follow you around all day too, lets protect those little ears and teach them productive things instead.

 

Pro’s of being a stay at home Mama October 5, 2010

My fun family at the beach!

I recently saw this quote

A friend had posted this on facebook and I thought it was so perfect for this post

“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only, to support the ultimate career” – C S Lewis

For all stay at home mamas this better put a smile on your face, its a little pat on the back for all the hard work you do that seems to go unnoticed.

As a stay at home mama you are irreplaceable to your child{ren}

There is nothing better than the personal investment into your own child that will someday outlive you! You are the number one example for them as you live your life in front of them day by day.  It is wonderful to be able to teach your children what you want them to learn and at the rate you know they can learn it.

Now depending on how much money your income brings in most of the time it saves a family money to stay at home and raise the children instead of paying for a daycare or a nanny. Also paying for the commute to work, work clothes etc. If after paying for a daycare, commute and work clothes you are still bringing in a worth while income it comes down to priority. What are your priorities? Did you bring children into the world to have other people raise them for you? Although sometimes that sounds nice but that’s not how parenting and raising children was intended.

When there is a parent home to take care of the family and home the stress level in the house is reduced {there are always ‘those’ days though}. I know from a little bit of experience. After delivering Kelsey I took my six weeks off then returned back to my part-time job as the Deputy Town Clerk in our town to finish out the 2008 year {it was roughly 6 weeks I went back to work for}. Now our town hall is… we live next door so my commute was literally 5 seconds away. Even with that short of a commute it was still stressful to get out of the house on time, have Kelsey ready for an entire day away from home and hoping she had enough milk to last the day {for my fellow breastfeeding mamas that can be a challenge in and of itself}. Then having to pump while at work and hoping you are on the same feeding schedule as your baby. Not to mention having an idea of what dinner will be when you get home and keeping the house clean all on a few hours sleep… no thanks! That was seriously the most stressful and exhausting 6 weeks of my life!!

I am not saying that being a stay at home mama will solve all these issues immediately

And that they will never occur again because that’s just not realistic. But a flexible schedule makes things much easier for you, your child and the overall atmosphere of your home. Did you have a rough night with the baby? If you have a job to go to in the morning that baby needs to be up and ready to go by 7am no matter how much rest they got. {that sucks for you and your baby!}

What mom doesn’t want to witness all the firsts in their child’s life? Staying at home with your kids is more than just witnessing these milestones its about growing your children into the adults you want them to become. Building their character and preparing them for life. It would be great if you as the parent were the one to do that since you brought them into the world. The first few years of life are so crucial it is  important to have consistent and strong relationship with them.. Josh and I discussed the topic of to stay home or not to stay home before we ever had children. There really wasn’t much of a discussion the decision was that simple to make. We want to be the ones to raise our children not some random employee at a daycare that may not even be there in 3 weeks.

It makes me sad when I hear working moms say I’d never be a stay at home mom, my kids would drive me nuts and all stay at home moms do is spend their husbands money, never contributing to it. I know a women who has said that before! The jokes on her because she is missing out on a lot with her kids because of that attitude.

By the time she gets home at 5 or 6pm her kids are exhausted and cranky. The best part of their day was spent with someone else. As far as kids driving her nuts, yeah it happens but tomorrow is a new day and what better opportunity to grow as a loving parent. Kelsey gave Josh and I one of those opportunities today, she is great at it! And as far as spending all her husbands money… not always. Maybe the women she knows do that but most of the stay at home mamas I know are the most frugal people around! I guess its all about priority.

Here are a few wonderful milestones & memories I may have missed out on if I went to a job everyday.

* Teaching my children how to sit up, crawl, walk, run and skip
* Giggling with them in their cribs before nap time {Yes I did say in  their cribs, they are quit sturdy!!}
* Teaching Kelsey how to feed and be a great mommy to her babies by watching how I am with Neely
* Afternoon picnics at the park with our friends on a Tuesday because we can
* Reading and singing with my girls for however long they want and then they’ll singing back to me and read me stories
* I get to hear them giggle at one another in their cribs when they should be napping {but their laughs are totally worth it!}
* Teach them the importance of chores around the house {Kelsey assists with dishes, making beds, and picking up toys}

I am the one that gets to teach them all of these fun things! I am not saying that staying at home with your children is the only way to go, I have many friends who work full-time and part-time some because that’s what they want and others because their family needs that extra money. BUT if you have a choice in staying home with your kids or working what is your priority?

 

You know you’re a mama when… October 4, 2010

Filed under: Family,Friends,Moms,My mini me's — bethanyjcrocker @ 9:13 pm
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I was standing in my kitchen a few weeks ago chatting it up with a friend that has a son just about the same age as Kelsey, as we made our cups of tea we were laughing about the funny things our kids have been doing lately. Then she made a comment “you know you’re a mom when…” and I started dying laughing. So I hope you enjoy this post, I figured most moms would know where I am coming from 🙂

You know you’re a mama when…

You have to remove toys from the bath tub just to take a shower

If taking a long hot shower in peace and quiet is rare… VERY rare

Boogers and puke don’t really effect you any more

“Clean up! Clean up! everybody everywhere” becomes a part of your everyday vocabulary

Bags under your eyes are the everyday normal

You can change a diaper with your eyes closed

You have memorized every cartoon theme song under the sun

You shop for your kids more than yourself because its easier than trying on clothes

It takes more than 1 trip to the car to run a simple errand

Your breath magically turns into Lysol and a simple puff of your breath will clean anything off

All of the sudden your laundry triples thanks to burp clothes, diaper blowouts, grass stains… the list goes on

You don’t wear nice clothes often knowing that when you do the little ones will spill something on you

A simple little smile or giggle can turn a bad attitude around

You get up in the middle of the night to take care of a crying child and run into 4 toys on your way there

When wearing clothes that have spit up or other baby issued stains on your shoulder is no biggie

When you have become a taxi driver

When you have trouble finishing a thought or sentence because you’re distracted or just struck with MOM BRAIN!

As we all know the list could go on and on

What are some of your favorite “you know your a mama when…”?
It is a joy and an honor to be a mama and all these things listed above make me smile whether good or bad.

It’s good to be a mama 🙂

 

Top 5 favorites about infants September 9, 2010

Filed under: Family,Friends,Moms,My mini me's,Uncategorized — bethanyjcrocker @ 8:28 pm
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Neely is not such an infant any more, she’s almost 9 months!

Having gone through the infant stage twice

There are definitely things I love about it and others that are less than impressive.

Here’s my top 5 things I love about the infant stage

5. Infants need YOU to survive – You are their advocate to the world and they need your love and affection to live. They definitely need you when you’re breastfeeding and they’re only source of food!

4. Lack of verbal skills – There is no sass back with these little ones 🙂 Although Neely seems to jabber pretty well thanks to her big sista, thankfully the demands of what she wants aren’t there yet 🙂

3. NAPS – I love how much sleep is required for babies to grow! It is so helpful in the recovery process of having a baby.

2. All the firsts – Their first smile, giggle, holding a toy and sitting up. Its all brand new to them which brings me to my final favorite.

1. Simple things make them happy – Because everything in the world is brand spankin’ new to them, making it all so amazing! I love it when  people start to become familiar to them and they can interact. The smile that comes across Neely’s face when she sees Josh or me makes me so happy, its that indescribable feeling as a mom!

Infants can be a lot of work but they are always worth it, and that stage in their life is so crucial for bonding. The time you spend with them is always well worth it. Love on those little love bugs 🙂